Does God Want Me to Be Single

Does God Want Me to Be Alone?

Woman alone in restaurant.Does God want me to be single? This is a great question and I’m excited to tell you that it has a very simple answer. Do you want to be single? Do you want to be alone? If the answer is no, then God doesn’t intend for you to be single the rest of your life.

Think about it this way. If you desire to be in a relationship, it was God who placed that desire within you.

So why then, are you still single?

When you develop a good relationship with Jesus Christ and you come to know Him well through both scripture and personal experience, you soon come to realize that while God can work in mysterious ways, he also, quite frequently, works in ways that, for Him, are typical.

One of the typical ways in which God works is that of his timing. God will nearly always take exceptionally longer than what we would prefer. And there are very profound reasons for doing so.

One reason God’s timing is always longer than ours is that God knows how to give good gifts. Let’s compare God’s timing to that of a chef. If a recipe called for the food to be in the oven for an hour but a chef chose to keep it in only five minutes, the food would come out terrible. When it comes to God taking much longer than you would prefer, it’s most likely because God is maturing you. He is maturing you to be more reliant upon Him. He’s maturing you to a place where you’re able to fully trust Him. He’s maturing you so that when He does give you a spouse they won’t end up superseding God as a priority in your life.

Furthermore, how do you know that His timing isn’t for the benefit of your future spouse? Perhaps today your future spouse isn’t even a Christian, but will be one tomorrow and will spend the next two years growing in spiritual maturity before being introduced to you. This is why it’s a great idea to begin praying for your future spouse now.

Here’s an example of God’s timing from my own life. God told me in the year 2000 that he had a wife for me. But she didn’t show up in my life until 2008 and we didn’t get married until 2010. Ten years I waited. But today I have a wonderful marriage.

Here’s my advice: Don’t fret or be envious of others. Instead, trust in the Lord. Be content with where He has you and enjoy the life He’s given you. But more importantly, delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord; trust in him and he will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.

(Photo credit: flickr Creative Commons, Alone by Tri Nguyen

18 thoughts on “Does God Want Me to Be Single

  1. The Very Truth says:

    well i certainly feel very much that he is really punishing me when it comes to having a love life, and it is very hard for me to meet a good woman to share my life with instead of me being alone and having no one. after seeing so many men and women that have been very blessed by God to have met one another and have a family, it hurts me very much since i would had wanted that as well. why does God bless certain men and women to find love and happiness?, and not us? i am no different than the ones that have it, and i would certainly very much want a love life as well like i had just mentioned. God shouldn’t put people on earth if this was his intention in the first place since this is very unfair to us, and why on earth would we want to be alone in the first place? God created men and women, and that certainly makes very much sense for us to want love and be loved as well.

    • GaryH says:

      Thanks for taking the time to write. The idea that God is punishing you is contradictory to the word of God. If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:11) Remember that when our opinions or beliefs differ from the word of God it is us who is wrong. I understand that it’s hard for you to meet women, but take joy in knowing that God created you that way in order to hem you in and save you for the one woman he has instore for you. I was married at age 38 and had waited for what seemed like forever.

      Don’t get upset when you see others marry while you remain single. They too, may have waited what, for them, seems like a long time. Continue to pray and believe that God is love and he has good gifts for you. Believe that He will provide for your needs by giving you a wife. And then wait….While you wait, take your mind off the waiting by serving. Find out where, within your church, that you can serve others. It’s most likely where you will someday meet your wife.

    • Ivonne says:

      God loves you so much my brother and do not think for a minute that He is there to punish you. Sometimes we are in hurry but what if our prayers for those things have been answered the way we wanted things to happen. Could we have done and come out of our situations. God’s time is the best for everything be patient and trust God, He will surely send you or might have send you a good wife by now. I am 38 as well looking for a God fearing man and I know all will work together for those who wait upon God. I love brother GaryH response, he really ministered to me and to so many people around the world who like to hear the same thing. May God bless you as the best is yet to come and we will come back with our testimonies one day.

  2. Darla Teegarden says:

    Just wanted you to know your article truly ministered to me and gave me hope. I have a promise from God for a mate and I know that He will fulfill that promise in His timing! I am one who has truly waited a lifetime as I am female, and only a few weeks away from the age of 52! Never been married and have no children. Yet I have to trust in Him and His timing!!

  3. Mark says:

    Well in my very honest opinion why many of us Good men are still Single today as i speak is that with many women today that are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, and very spoiled which makes it a very excellent reason as to why many of us men are single now which Most of us i would say are Not to blame. When you compare the women of today to the the women of years ago they were certainly much better and much easier to meet thanks to their parents that Raised them very well to find a Good man to settle down with, and today Most parents i would say are Raising their children very poorly. Many of us men are certainly Not single by choice today and would’ve really wanted to be Married with a good wife and family.

    • GaryH says:

      Hi Mark, This is a good point, however, I think you are focused on the negative and not focused on the power of The Holy Spirit. Any woman who is in Christ will be none of the negative qualities you have mentioned in your comment. If you have faith in Christ than you will believe that Christ knows what you need even before you ask and that he gives good gifts. He knows how to bring you together with any quality woman now living on the Earth. For example, my wife lived her whole life 800 miles away from me, but God had her move here to the town I live in and we meet at church immediately after she moved.

      • Mark says:

        So many people on this earth were just meant to find love and happiness which many of us weren’t. And God did say that man should never be alone which makes very much sense. But then there are other people that enjoy their single life which i will never understand that at all, and eventually it will catch up with them when they will start realizing that there is no body to share their life with. Thank you for your support. Peace.

  4. Chris says:

    I am in my late fifties and have wanted all my adult life to get married and to have a family. I have looked for many years for a nice man to settle down with and now, at almost 58, I am losing hope. Obviously it is too late for children, but it feels as though my chances of meeting a partner are becoming lower all the time. It feels as though my adult life has been a long punishment of loneliness and emptiness. Why did God give me this deep longing for marriage, for someone to cherish and to love and to be loved and cherished by, if it will never be answered?

    • jaz says:

      I think you are wrong. I am 50 never married and have no children. I want to have a family in the worst way but sometimes He has other plans for our lives. Just like I want to be healthy but God’s will was for me to be disabled. So, yes, there is always hope but just wanting something does not make it so. Single people have a vocation all their own. They have more time to help others, volunteer, etc. I really hope you are right! But being single is a blessing from God.

    • Ivonne says:

      Everything is possible, remember Sarah. You can have children if you believe that God can do the impossible. Do not lose hope we serve an amazing God.

    • GaryH says:

      Hi. Thanks for visiting my website. I don’t know your circumstances, but I married at 38. If you are seeking the Lord first, before seeking a wife and if you are praying often for a wife, the only other thing I would recommend is to serve regularly at a somewhat larger church where the truth of the gospel is being taught. Serve in a ministry where you have face to face interaction with people. (not like an usher or door opener), but in a ministry where you can work along side people and become familiar with them. But make sure that your first priority is serving the Lord, not meeting your wife. But my point is that the only way you will meet your future wife is if you are interacting with people. But again, I don’t know your circumstances, perhaps you’re already doing this.

      • Jackie says:

        I stumbled across this article after waking up at 2 am. The article truly blessed me & I know God allowed me to see this article. It gave me hope again. Reading others’ comments I am touched & can relate 2 them all. Quite frankly, I’ve said some of the same things. One I didnt read that I’ve thought is I might be cursed. I repented for thinking & saying that one,. Can you believe that one – wow!! For years after becoming a Christian at 27 I always had a desire to be married, but not then. Being excited about my new life in Christ. my desire was to grow in my relationship with God. Got involved in various ministries, attended numerous conferences. traveled, etc. (very content in being single). During that time attended many conferences & was blessed to attend Christian conferences as a single with martied couples to learn about being single & married. Highly recommended churches allow singles to attend marriage seminars, how will singles actually know about marriage before getting married. Some ministries are now doing this – thank God! I always prayed for a Godly man being specific in my prayers. It wasn’t until mid 40’s I began to have a stronger desire to be married. I will be turning 65 in a few weeks & I’m still single with no children (even though I’ve helped raised many). I’m still very active physically (travel, exercise regularly (still love to roller skate, water aerobics, & I love kickboxibg), but not involved in numerous ministries like before although I still fellowship with other believers, study groups & God continue using me to pray for others & minister to others. At times it can become discouraging, but oftentimes I try not 2 even focus on not being married yet because like one response made. I don’t want to become angry of bitter why it has taken so long. I would tell the Lord when I meet young sisters desiring a husband to please don’t let them wait as long as I have waitrd. I know I must continue to trust the Lord and believe the best is yet to come. The minister taught a powerful message Sunday which ended by sharing how we need to be give thanks to God for all things. I needed to hesr that so yes it’s tsken a long time for me, but I have so much to be thankful. I use to say I want God’s very best not second best so when that Godly man finds me I’ll be sure to let you know. I appreciate you writing that wonderfful arrticle. God bless you & thanks agaiin!

      • Paula says:

        It seem like hard met good people now a lot still want to live the way God don’t want us too and finding a person who wants what God wants hard to find. Look what on inside of person Not on outside.

        • GaryH says:

          I agree there are lots of people who call themselves christian yet live worldly lives. This is why it’s so important to meet someone in church. You are specifically looking for someone who not only attends regularly but who also serves and shows clear signs of having spiritual wisdom and spiritual maturity.

  5. Mark says:

    The single life for many of us good men really hurts, and to see how very lucky and blessed that other men were to find their loved ones which really hurts even more. This life that we live in today is not all that great, and not having a loved one to share it with hurts so badly altogether not having a good woman in our life to enjoy it with.

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